Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This is the high leading the old right now
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The power of my boobs compel you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
