just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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