Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
