yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
