google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
