YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
