i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
im on a boat
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