Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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