Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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