is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
