i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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