i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize