Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
