The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
