Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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