apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
