Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
