It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize