Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
