You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
