shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
