Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
