we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
