Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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