Im at strip club and am horny
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
