As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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