i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
