Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
