# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
