it was like having sex with a tree stump
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
