She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
