just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
