What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
