Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize