Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.

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(716): View more from New York

On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

(1-716): View more from New York

I think you broke the trashy scale

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(864): View more from South Carolina

her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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(713): View more from Texas

Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.

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(740): View more from Ohio

besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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(661): View more from California

He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.

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