Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
