I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
