by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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