Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i will never coherently bang her
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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