I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
