I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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