We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
