i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
