he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
