at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
