Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
