In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
