I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize