i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
