Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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