Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
