Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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