oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
