): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize