put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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