so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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