So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
