Don't you send me to vm
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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