So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
