protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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