tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
