i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
high people should be assigned attendants
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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