i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
